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I wanted to have a brain transplant
But I changed my mind
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To determine the gender of a parrot you have to stick your finger in the cage. If he bites you, he's a male...
If she bites you, she's a female.
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Today I learned that if a canoe turns upside down in the water, you can safely wear it on your head.
Because it’s capsized.
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Why doesn't James Bond fart in bed ?
Because, it would blow his cover.
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My girlfriend got mad at me for being lazy
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