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I think my wife is leaving me because of my obsession with simplifying fractions.
Oh well, hind sight is 1.
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I invented a new game called Silent Tennis.
It’s like regular tennis but without the racquet.
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I wrote down the names of everyone I hate on a piece of paper, and my roommate used that to roll his joint.
He’s now high on the list of people I never want to see again.
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Did you hear the rumor about butter?
Well, I’m not going to spread it!
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I don't trust these trees
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