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I recently sold my vacuum cleaner..
..all it was doing was gathering dust.
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Why do elephants have trunks?
Because a suitcase is just not enough
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If you have diarrhea,
you've got to get your shit together.
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My wife to our son, "Go brush your teeth with your sister"
Me from the other room, "No, use a toothbrush".
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I don't trust these trees
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