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I managed straight A's in school.
My B's however, were a little wonky.
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What do cigarettes and squirrels have in common?
They're both perfectly safe until you stick them in your mouth and light them on fire.
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What is the tallest building in the world?
The library,it's got the most stories
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I was asked at an interview what my weakness is. I replied "I'm too honest". The interviewer said "I don't consider honesty a weakness".
I said "I don't give a fuck what you think"
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My girlfriend got mad at me for being lazy
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