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I farted in the Apple store, and everyone got mad.
It's not my fault that they didn't have Windows.
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I always thought air was free...
Untill I bought a bag of doritos
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"I want to hate my life in a different building"
-person looking for a new job
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A man entered his home and discovered that someone had stolen every single lamp present in the house.
He was absolutely delighted.
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What did the sushi say to the bee?
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