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I dropped an egg onto a concrete floor and it didn't break.
This is because concrete floors are really hard.
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My wife asked me, “Are you sometimes surprised as to how little people change?”
I said, “Actually, the process is the same. Apart from their tiny clothes.”
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I got the words “jacuzzi” and “yakuza” confused.
Now I’m in hot water with the Japanese mafia.
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What did the ground say to the oil worker?
"You bore me."
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I don't trust these trees
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