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I drank some food coloring
The doctor says I'm okay, but I'm dyeing inside
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I had to give up on my idea to create a miniature flamethrower
It was burning a hole in my pocket
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My son flushed one of his shoes down the toilet, stopping it up...
It was a clog.
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Why did the yogurt go to the art exhibit?
Because it was cultured.
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My girlfriend got mad at me for being lazy
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