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I asked the librarian if the library had any books about paranoia
She whispered, "They're right behind you"
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I married my wife for her looks
Just not the ones she been giving me lately.
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What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
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What did one toilet say to another?
You looked flushed.
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Daughter: Where are the Himalayas?
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