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Everyone was excited to be at our autopsy club this evening.
It was open Mike night.
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I left $100 in my suit jacket at the dry cleaners.
Unfortunately when I went to get it back, they were shut down for money laundering.
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Dad: Sorry, but I only know how to make two dishes: meat loaf and apple pie.
Kid: Which one is this?
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Remember, as a child, when air for your bike was free? Now it's $1.50! I asked the gas station attendant why.
He said "inflation".
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My girlfriend got mad at me for being lazy
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