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Every morning after I get up, the first thing I do is make my bed.
Tomorrow I’m returning this piece of shit to IKEA.
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What season is it when you're on a trampoline?
Spring!
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How do you get 50 Canadians out of a swimming pool?
Tell them to get out of the swimming pool.
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I have a fear of speed bumps.
I'm slowly getting over it.
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Daughter: Where are the Himalayas?
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