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Do you think..
Earth makes fun of other planets for having no life?!
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I was on the toilet, angry, and late for work.
I thought, “I don’t have time for this shit.”
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Why do hair dressers always get places faster?
Because they know all the short cuts.
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I didn't think orthopedic shoes would help
But I stand corrected.
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My girlfriend got mad at me for being lazy
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