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Do you know the difference between a hunter and a fisherman?
A hunter lies in wait. A fisherman waits and lies.
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I call my toilet "the jim" instead of "the john."
That way I can tell people that I go to the jim first thing every morning.
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What do you get when you cross an Olympic swimmer with an elephant?
Swimming trunks
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Patient: Doc, I don't believe that peanuts are fattening.
Doctor: Well, have you ever seen a skinny elephant?
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I don't trust these trees
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