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Did you hear about the guy who ate bananas whole?
He didn’t peel too well
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A pirate walks into a bar with a paper towel on his head. The bartender asks, "Hey, what's with the paper towel?"
The pirate says, "Argh, I've got a Bounty on me head!"
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If a child refuses to go to sleep, is he resisting arrest?
No, he's avoiding a kidnapping.
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I left $100 in my suit jacket at the dry cleaners.
Unfortunately when I went to get it back, they were shut down for money laundering.
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I don't trust these trees
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