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Did you hear about the dumb guy who got fired from his job at the M&M's factory?
He kept throwing away all the candies that had W's on them.
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What's the difference between sanitizer and moisturizer?
One will burn your eyes, the other will moisturize.
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Being a great father is like shaving.
No matter how good you shaved today, you have to do it again tomorrow.
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Why won't swords go obsolete?
They are cutting edge technology.
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My girlfriend got mad at me for being lazy
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