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Considering getting my circumcision reversed.
Anyone have any tips?
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When people ask me if I exercise, I tell them I do crunches every day.
Cap'n Crunch, Cinnamon Toast Crunch, Nestle Crunch...
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I was at a restaurant with my wife when a waitress suddenly screamed, "Does anyone know CPR??"
I shouted, "Even better, I know the whole alphabet!" Everyone laughed... Well, everyone except this one guy.
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An apple, a banana, and an orange were on the high dive. Only the banana wouldn't jump. Why?
Because it was yellow.
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Daughter: Where are the Himalayas?
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