The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.

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Before my surgery, the anesthetist offered to knock me out with gas or a boat paddle.

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Two atoms are walking down the street and bump into each other

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My friend said, “You have a BA, Masters and a Ph.D., but you still act like an idiot.”

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I saw my wife, slightly drunk, yelling at the TV: “Don’t go in there! Don’t go in the church, you moron!”