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The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.
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A sperm donor, a carpenter, and Julius Caesar walk into a bar.
He came, he saw, he conquered.
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My wife yelled, “Hey, the sun’s coming out!” So I wore my shorts and flip flops and came downstairs.
Found my son holding hand with his boyfriend.
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The salesman at the furniture store told me, “This sofa will seat 5 people without any problems.”
I said, “Where the hell am I going to find 5 people without any problems?”
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Officer "I'm arresting you for downloading all of Wikipedia."
Me ,"No, wait. I can explain everything!"
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I don't trust these trees
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